(Jared's Journal)
We settled into our guest house for a 3 Hour nap. The guest house where we are staying is by Ethiopian standards cream of the crop. By American standards I would equate it to the Sherwood Motel in Havelock, North Carolina......only 2 other people in the world will understand this. It's nice, we are just spoiled. There is construction all around. Serious construction. Buildings going up on both sides of us, literally just feet away, water lines going into the ground. Addis Ababa is a developing place, third world, but developing. This isn't your average Candler's Mountain Road bridge project.
After 30 min of listening to men yelling over the excavator that is putting a water line in just 60 yards away we both drift off to some much needed rest. 3 hours.
After a nap and a quick lunch, we are off to meet our son. Same kind of ride as before. Just 25 minutes up the road. (Side note: from a mans perspective there are some awesome cars/trucks in this place. Toyota 4 runners with truck bed, quad cab Nissan mighty max 4x4s, old school landcruisers that don't get stuck, and
4x4 Toyota corrolas)
On the way to the orphanage we pass THE trash dump. The trash of 5 million people is more like a mountain. This mountain is cluttered with people in search of their next meal. Again, I could have been born here. I don't know what else to say about this right now. Still processing. Culture shock is setting in.
We arrive at the orphanage. It is not as nice as I had built it up in my mind. It's an orphanage in Ethiopia... It's hot and stuffy, it smells, not unbearable, but it smells. Hey put 12 babies in the states in an 85 degree room with 2 care takers who are under supplied... Then give them several months there. The nannies taking care of these children do an incredible job. They make the most of what they have. They don't have what we have.
When we enter the room our case worker who is with us tells us to find him! I scan the beds and go right to him. He was at the very end of the row. I am not sure why but I scoop him up even before Betsy has the chance....oops...a father's love :) This a gift from God. There was a time in my life when I was incapable of this kind of love. Unfortunately I will revert back to my old nature soon....I am again a little surprised. By our standards he is not clean. He is my son! Fearfully and wonderfully made! He is perfect.
We spend 30 mins loving on him and the other children. This experience is very difficult. We had a great time bonding with our son but the thing that has gripped my heart the most, is a 5 year old blind boy. Quite possibly the most spirited soul I have ever encountered. I am still digesting this experience. From the moment he heard my male voice he clung to me. He quoted his ABCs as if to impress me, as if to prove he was worth being loved. His soul longed for the love of a father. He wanted a father's approval. He would not stop calling me Ababa....(father in Amheric) Romans 8:15 and Galatians 4:5 will never be the same for me. "For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, "Abba! Father!" ......"And because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying, "Abba! Father!" I wanted him badly to stop, but he kept happily calling me his daddy. It's in his nature. It's in ours..... Ashamedly I resisted his embrace some, at least in my heart. I had reverted back. I was not and could not prepare for this moment. In the moment i was incapable of this kind of love. A fathers love. Still digesting. I run to my Father......He is more than capable. He reaches for me. My heart is moved first to confession. How could my heart hold this boy at arms length? Because in the flesh, I don't really know love apart from God. I am reminded again of my sin nature. Then I am moved to the gospel and immediately praise and joy at the same time...men aren't prepared for this kind of spiritual and emotional roller coaster. The gospel. Though I am a sinner Christ died for me( see Romans 5:8) I am a sinner, but my Savior Jesus is not. See Jesus modeled the appropriate love.... He didn't shrink back, he reached down! He wasn't worried about getting sick, he touched and healed the leper. Why am I worried about an infection or ring worm?! Jesus reaches down to my disease infested heart and took it all on himself. Praise be to him alone! How quickly we forget our mission. How easily when the rubber meets the road we shrink back. Thank you God for teaching me to love like you love. Fill me with your spirit and strength and enable me. I am prepared to love this boy upon our return in a few days. I am better prepared now to share God's love by reaching rather than pulling back. It's God's nature. He is making it mine...
As we left the orphanage we kicked a tattered soccer ball around in the courtyard with a little boy. He was quiet and content not talking, He didn't really want our love, just our attention, just someone to kick a ball with. He knew the drill, we would be leaving, he would be staying. I guessed the ball must be 3 years old. It had worn through the leather and into the rubber most all the way around. I will be bringing a soccer ball next trip. I found out later the ball was probably only 3 months old, not 3 years. It sees a lot of use and is a prized possession.
We returned back to the guest house to the living room area of the house. Here we had a sweet time of fellowship and sharing of the days events with another couple who is here to see their girl, and a woman from Indiana who has returned to the area, from a previous adoption, to share love with these children who long for it. We share stories of God's faithfulness, his healing power, his love. The couple that is also here adopting has been praying for a miracle in their child's life and they shared that God had granted the desires of their heart!! Prayer is so powerful. God is so powerful. It is amazing that God allows us to cry out to him in prayer. It is amazing that sometimes through fervent persistent prayer we have the ability to move the heart of our Heavenly Father. Check out Luke 11:5-13 and Luke 18:1-8. Understanding His nature is tough at times. I am thankful that like a persistent little boy, I can keep asking and perhaps move my fathers heart. I needed this reminder on prayer. Persistence is in my nature....ask my mom or dad, ask my wife. My prayer life needs a stronger dose of this..... Application
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